OCTOBER FLASH

October 1, 2011 Fiction

This month features flash stories by Evelyn Adams, Andrew Bailey and Eric Alder.  Their tales will question your boundaries, poke you in the ribs and tickle your quirky funny bone.

 

 

 

 

 

Getting Fat

By

Andrew Bailey


This happened after we moved in together. She came to me and held out her hand. It was a pretty hand, but there was a nasty paper cut. “My hand hurts,” she said.  “I think I have cancer.”

I said,  “It looks like a paper cut, Sweet Cheeks.”

“No it isn’t,” she said. “Its cancer, I know it. I’m going to die. You’re going to be alone. You are going to be miserable and alone.”

I didn’t want to be alone. I wouldn’t be miserable but I would start doing the things I wanted to do again and then I might be too pleased with myself and never really live an adult life. I took her to the hospital. We waited six hours and finally the triage told her to go home, that it was a paper cut.

This became a habit that I also got in on. My chest would hurt and I would say that I most definitely had cancer. She would say it was just gas and then the next day her brain would be throbbing and she would claim to be dead by tomorrow.

One day her stomach began to expand. “See,” She said, sipping a whiskey on ice. “I have it. I’m dying. You’re going to be all alone.”

I took out a magnifying glass and examined her belly. I poked it. “Love,” I began. I stopped and took her drink away. “Love,” I said. “I think you have cancer. Definitely cancer.”

She said, “I’m dying. I knew it. I’m sorry my love. I am going to leave you all alone. I hope you are miserable when I am gone.”

“I won’t be alone long,” I said. “I’m dying too.” I was coughing again and my knee hurt. I was positive the knee was where my cancer originated. I poked her belly again.

“It’s getting dark,” She said.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “It won’t hurt. Much. I hear it goes fast, anyway.”

She began snoring.

I fell asleep too.

When we woke the next morning we were embarrassed at our hypochondria.  “Maybe we don’t have cancer,” She said.

My knee was feeling better. I said, “Probably not.”

We had cherry pie, sixteen eggs, and black coffee for breakfast.  She also had ice cream and our left over anchovy pizza. Her belly was still much more round than usual.  I said, “Are you getting fat, sweet cakes?” She started to cry before we went ahead and got married, which was little better than cancer.

Pages: 1 2 3

11 Comments

  1. Somethingnewplease October 19, at 03:09

    Great stream of story telling from all present.Enjoyed the issue. Great job Tuck Magazine team.

    Reply
    • Administrator October 19, at 20:31

      Andrew, your story was one of the reasons the first issue was so brilliant and it has been a joy to publish you and all the other talented writers here. I think this is going to be one of the best creative experiences of my life and I have you and all the writers here as well as those I've yet to work with to thank for it! I am one lucky editor broad. :)

      Reply
  2. adeeyoyo October 12, at 11:36

    What an interesting array of Flash Fiction! All so original and well written. I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. Thank you to the authors for sharing them with us.

    Reply
  3. Selma October 12, at 03:21

    Andrew, your story is absolutely brilliant. Gave me a good chuckle. Very, very creative!

    Reply
  4. Administrator October 05, at 20:28

    Thank you Paul for contributing your talent and time, your involvement is deeply appreciated! :)

    Reply
    • Administrator October 02, at 16:53

      Your talent is evident and appreciated by Tuck, thank you Eric for contributing!

      Reply
      • Selma October 12, at 04:38

        A beautiful story, Eric. Your imagery is exquisite!

        Reply
  5. Evelyn October 02, at 02:13

    omg! I didnt realize that was SNP till I clicked on the link. I am going ape-crap Im so excited... Nice to meet you, Andrew...you are so FRIGGIN talented it hurts me.

    Reply
    • Selma October 12, at 03:24

      Hi Evelyn. I really like your story. The opening sentence is just immaculate. Brilliantly written.

      Reply
  6. Evelyn October 02, at 02:11

    so besides, YAY ME!! I also want to say this is one of my favorite Eric pieces. Its phenomenal!

    Reply

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