How to get along effortlessly in a Corporate setting
In my previous article ‘The Easiest Way To Save Your Job Is To Just Get Along‘, I spoke about how in this fast changing world, skills, qualifications, expertise and work experienceare becoming redundant much faster than one can envisage. In such a dynamic environment what really matters is your connection with your peers, your superiors and the people who matter in the organization or in a position of power.
Truly speaking, they are the ones who need more safety than you. Thus they fortify their position by keeping people whom they believe are their trusted commanders, whom they like, whom they can fall back on and whom they can cry their heart out and discuss their issues both personal and professional.
As one grows up, in the Corporate ladder the funnel becomes even thinner, less space for breathing, expressing and being yourself. In such narrow surroundings, your bosses, superiors and mentors will only fight for your existence in the organization when they like you, when they are fond of you; when you get along with them, their friends and families as well.
In this materialistic world there is nothing personal or professional. There is no such word as ‘expertise’ or skill or hard work or perseverance. It’s all amatter of perception.
Most people believe that employees who spend longer hours in the office are slogging and will get their due at the end of the year, but what if their bosses perceive them to be slow and inefficient?
Perception is the NEW Reality. The sooner one accepts, the faster he moves in life and relationships.
Let me shift gears now and talk about 4 sure shot tools by which you can crack anyone within 30 days. The idea is to follow seamlessly and shamelessly. You will come out as a winner.
Listen to others as if you are DEAF– Imagine if you are deaf. You will try and read the lips of the person whom you are conversing with. You will not interrupt him or her, till he or she finishes his or her point or perspective. Your entire attention is on the person sitting or standing opposite you. How good that person will feel in your presence. We humans all crave for attention and you and only you are giving him the entire mindful space he has been seeking from his bosses, friends, wife, children and so many other relationships. But you are the one making him feel like a king or a queen. Why will he not protect you?
Argue as if you are an introvert or mute – Most humans speak off their ideas or express their thoughts, because of deep rooted beliefs. These deep rooted beliefs have developed over long periods of time, due to their habits or experiences which they have been exposed to numerous times. These habits and experiences have become an inevitable part of the person due to his or her background, culture or habitat they have been living in or were brought up under. These can never change and I say it again, NEVER CHANGE in 15 minutes. These are trained mental muscles which need unlearning first and then gradual re-learning. Thus arguing with a peer or superior on a subject will only lead to a damage of personal harmony and reputation. After a few instances the person from whom you seek shelter during testing times will avoid or hate you. Hence stay away any unpleasant talks or topics and or having and expressing rigid views on the same.
Kill your EGO – Ego brings in a false sense of pride and forces you to believe that you are invincible. When you show someone down, it gives the same high as having a drink or drugs. It’s addictive. It gives you a moment of pleasure but destroys your future ruthlessly. It forces you to close your mind to possibilities, the mind path, the win – win situation, the long term friendship and your long term goal. Have confidence, not ego, have happiness not lust, be charismatic and not obtrusive.
Find the commonality – This is the most important aspect for a person to like you. Humans like to be safe and comfortable at all points in time. Even when they are taking risks, they want the safety net to be on or they desire someone to watch their backs. When they are relaxing, they want someone to keep a watch over them, their stuff, their belongings, etc. When you find a person who shares the same value system, has studied from the same school or college, etc, or has grown up in the same state or same area or any other common ground, your comfort with that person increases multifold. You start trusting him, believing that he or she will understand you well and hence bonhomie increases. The same thing happens with your bosses or people who are taking decisions in your organization. More the commonality, more possibility of your backside being protected during tough days.
Summarizing the points for YOU to remember.
Listen with full attention
Deliberate and not argue
Surrender your EGO
Find the Common Ground and linkage
Practicing this can win anyone in or outside of the Corporate Setting.
Siddhartha was born to a learned middle class educated family in Semi Urban India. His father was an extremely honest man who because of his honesty had to pay the price in corporate world. Mother is a determined woman who ensured that children are being well taken care off. After a few years of birth, doctors called Siddhartha, a slow child having flat foot. He would fall more than he could walk. Determined mother ensured all therapies for her son to come out strong to fight the world. Siddhartha joined swimming when he was in 6th standard. Seeing other children of his class, he jumped in 10 feet deep pool and learnt swimming on his own, the very same day.
From that day there was no looking back. He topped his city in 12th and went to score highest in his B school exams. During his profession as banker, he became youngest branch manager of a MNC bank managing their biggest wealth branch in the country. There he found love of his life and got married. His love of his life emerged in the form of his daughter who completely changed him for good.
Siddhartha Rastogi is Director for a boutique Investment bank in India.
Siddhartha is a forward looking thinker & writer who has written a book on decision making. 8 Simple steps to effective decision making.