Saul Leiter
By
Dov Weinman
Things They Have Told Me
because I heard Jews run the White House
and of course they run Hollywood
because all Jews like Chinese food
because I picked up a quarter from the
street and she said don’t be such a Jew
are you sure you’re Jewish
because you don’t look like a Jew
trust me I know what Jews look like
because Jews don’t get tattoos
because your mother only converted
doesn’t that mean you’re not a true Jew
because kike isn’t offensive anymore
because it’s a dated word
you mean you don’t believe in Jesus
because you will go to hell
if you don’t believe in Jesus
because it’s ignorant to still
be waiting for the messiah
because you cannot be Jewish
if you do not believe in god
Blessings and Hard Candies
To the person at my older cousin Joey’s bar
mitzvah who handed out hard candies
instead of some type of soft chewable,
karma suggests that at your own kid’s bar
or bat mitzvah someone will happily hand
out sizeable gumballs.
To Joey, I just want to reiterate that I’m sorry,
when I waited patiently for the last few
people to shower you with candy as you
stood on the bimah after your torah
portion, I didn’t mean to hit you in the eye
with a fastball, and anyways a bar mitzvah
is not expected to be painless.
To my father, who raised me to worship
Jewish baseball legends like Hank
Greenburg and Al Rosen, why didn’t you
anticipate and put a stop to my Sandy
Koufax inspired windup, but I want to
thank you for allowing me to burrow my
face into your shoulder, for soaking up my
tears with your tallit.
And to my grandfather, who sat on the other
side of my father and laughed, who when
the ever-bearded Rabbi Yitzhak asked the
congregation to bless Joey with virtues for
adulthood, rose his voice and blessed him
with the ability to forgive, I ask now, years
after you’re gone, bless me too Grandpa,
bless me too.
What's the message in the poem on Jews?