Epistle To The Boys: Peer Pressure

August 3, 2018 Opinion , OPINION/NEWS , OTHER

BBC photo

By

John Chizoba Vincent

I was listening to Eriga’s song “Kettle”, one of Nigeria’s foremost rappers. He said don’t do things because your friend did it and if you have a problem you should indicate so that people can help you. And when you weigh the words in his lyrics you will understand that he was saying something very important to the youths. I know most of us won’t listen to that kind of song because it is not like the type of song that whizkid drops everyday to tell us the best way to shake our buttocks.

I know some will argue with me that he makes his money through those songs but I don’t care about the money he makes through those, what I care about is the best way we can educate these young ones that are our future, how best we can reach out to them so that the same mistakes our fathers or our mothers made yesterday; they won’t make in their life.

I have seen guys being pushed into committing adultery because their friends did the same thing. Some guys will gather around in one corner and all they talk about is how they were able to lure a particular girl into bed and how she moans in their arms. And others will gather to talk about how they gang rape a girl in the bush; is that life to you, boys? How does that really put food on your table? Does it present you as a responsible boy or a miscreant?

Dear boys, never allow guys to push you into what you ain’t thinking of doing. The fact that Obi went to London and made it home does not mean that when you travel to London you can make it. The fact that Rose trekked down to Libya and succeeded does not mean when you trek your own trek you will make it to Libya. Learn to wear yourself and don’t try to wear another person’s body.

Build yourself and don’t allow anyone to lure you into smoking when you don’t want to smoke. Don’t let them tell you will become a man when you taste this and that. I told you in the last letter I wrote to you that drugs don’t help you to become you, rather they damage you and your self esteem. Make you feel like you can’t satisfy yourself by yourself. Stand for what you stand for and never allow these peer pressures to haunt you into believing that if you don’t do it you are not normal.

A few weeks ago, one girl told me how her friend avoided her like a virus because she told them she was still a virgin. I was mad at her for even telling me that she cried as they abused her. I told her to leave my side because she was supposed to know her stand in life at her age. After that day, the next time we met, she was ashamed to come to me again. When I confronted her, she told me she had broken her shyness – that she did it with one of her landlord’s sons. She asked him to take away her pride so she could be like others. I was angry with her and she knew that.

Some of the negative effects of peer pressure include, but are not limited to, this: they pressure you to use things like alcohol, cigarettes and some other drugs, pressure you to engage in risk taking behaviour, they distract you from school because you want to feel together with them; you will always like to leave those important things to follow them. They make you create a long distance between you and your family members and existing friends and drastic changes in behavior and attitudes.

They are the myth of eluding pains to you. These peers play a huge role in sharpening children’s emotional developments and their feelings. It is from here children learn to build their self esteem and confidence. Their influences begin here and it comes either in negative or positive ways.

So boys, you choose what enters your soul and body and how your brain works on them. The majority of teens with substance abuse problems began using drugs and alcohol as a result of peer pressure. They wanted to make those that mock them see that they could do it. They wanted to show how good they were or tell them they also belong in the same game.

The pressure can happen in a person or on social media. We should be careful with the kind of person we involve ourself with at home and in the community. So boys, be careful with the kind of friends you spend your time with. I will keep writing to you until this world is over and we spend the other life in paradise.