Deep Throat in the 21st Century

DoD photo

By

Marsha Owens

Dear Melania,

Forgive me for not addressing you as First Lady. I‘ve seen you in public, obligatory sightings not of your own choosing, I’m sure. But try as I may, I just can’t find a shred of authenticity in your speech, your dress (“I Really Don’t Care, Do U?”) or in your taut, troubled face. So it’s difficult to find the “first lady” part of your public persona.

I know you are a mother, though, and that role may be the one thing that brings you love and joy. I hope so, for Baron’s sake.

Everyone understands that Michelle was a hard act to follow, but you must have liked her a little. You’ve used excerpts from her speeches. (You really should’ve given her credit. I can’t believe your handlers didn’t tell you that). Anyway, previous First Ladies have managed to find their own styles, their own way, their personal causes to which they could give voice and visibility. I suggest you ask your staff to research the projects of other first ladies. Then you wouldn’t have to promote Donnie’s cyberbullying. Think about it.

I’m guessing living in this bubble called First Lady hasn’t been easy. How could it be for you, whose only claim to fame and fortune has been Donald Trump. We could discuss the love word, but I can’t find much evidence of that either—how he runs down the steps carrying his umbrella, leaving you behind like a wet puppy and how you slap away his hand like nobody sees. Anyway, I’ve known a few women like you whose identities are embedded (no pun intended) in the persona of a man, and it makes me sad. From all I can tell, it seems to me that your attraction to him was really to his money and to America.

Which brings me to my point. . .if your goal was to become a rich American citizen, you’ve accomplished that, right? And now your parents have also been granted citizenship. (I must add, I’m somewhat pedestrian in my Americanism—I support anyone who thinks enough of MY country to want to be a citizen. So congratulations to you and your parents).

And now you find yourself safely ensconced in America with citizenship, fame, fortune, and Secret Service protection for life. With all that going for you, maybe you would consider what many of us try to practice—it’s called giving back. You of all people know “where the bodies are buried.” You know about Donnie’s craziness first-hand. You know about his narcissism. You live with it. You know about his anger. You live with it. You know how he trashes people. You live with that too, I’m sure.

So here’s what I think, Melania: YOU could literally save this country, your chosen country! Everyone knows that Donnie is a very, very loose cannon—and he has the nuclear code. We’re all really scared.

Think about it. If you were to expose him, you’d still be rich and famous—and, in addition, adored by millions and millions of Americans! You would have an honorable place in history. You would be lauded as the person who saved America.

It’s a big responsibility. But I think you’re up to it. He treats you like the little woman, beautiful but dumb. I don’t buy that. You knew enough to earn a fortune lying on your back. I know you can do so much more. Is it too dramatic to suggest you might even save the world?

Just find one person (Bob Woodward would be a good choice) to guide you. Then take Baron and get the hell away from Donnie. Then tell your story, sell a book, live in peace for a change. Learn to embrace normalcy.

What do you think?

Tick, tock.

Marsha Owens

Marsha is a retired English teacher who lives and writes in Richmond VA. Her favorite quote for these troubled times: “Take your broken heart and turn it into art.” (Meryl Streep). Her work has been published at NewVerseNews, The Wild Word, Streetlight Magazine, and a few others.