Nigeria: Make we thieve these politicians’ pants

Reuters photo

By

Prince Charles Dickson

Very quickly for my ‘tush, ajebo, high class, sophisticated’ readership let me explain what pants are; in the UK “Pants” typically refers to underwear. In other parts of the world, notably the USA, “pants” refers to trousers. Hence, as we were colonized by the British you know I am referring to underwear in this case, not boxers as worn by men. Pants as in pata, wondo worn by women…

So in the last few months, below have become commonplace;

Female pants theft in Anambra worries police—

The Anambra State Police Command has expressed worry over growing incidents of female pants theft in the state.

The command asked the residents of the state to rise up against the development.

The state Police Public Relations Officer, Mr Haruna Mohammed, stated this on Thursday during a press conference in Awka.

He said a 19-year-old suspect, Chinonye Okorie, who specialized in stealing female pants, was arrested in Onitsha on Thursday while trying to sell one female underwear for N80,000 for ritual purposes.

Yahoo: Church security guards allegedly steal 2 pants belonging to pastor’s daughter in Akure—

Two security guards, identified as Samuel Linus and Adekunle Ogundana, have allegedly stolen underwear belonging to the daughter of a pastor within a church’s premises in Akure metropolis.

‘Yahoo’ Boys Caught With Girls Pants And Other Ritual Items In Delta State—

Mobile police apprehend some group of Ghana Burgers at Koko Junction. According to the visuals and photo of evidence we find out that these guys according to their confession went to Oyo State for rituals. They used two Ecolax buses and boarded the vehicle from Benin and asked the driver to move straight to Sapele.

According to their own confession after police interrogations, they said they went for rituals at Oyo State. The two Ecolax buses contain the following items.

1 – Four used girls’ pants.

2 – Old mat

3 – Used girls wig

4 – Used girls brassier

And other concoction items.

Yahoo Boys Stealing Ladies pants Will Face The consequences – Oba of Benin Speaks On Money Ritual

The Oba of Benin, Oba Ewuare II, has warned Nigerian youths, especially yahoo boys stealing pants for money rituals to desist from the act or face the consequences Oba Ewuare gave the warning on Sunday during a thanksgiving service at the Holy Aruosa Cathedral in Benin to round off the 2018 annual Igue Festival Celebrations, Vanguard reports.

He said youths who cling to the illusion that they could become wealthy by killing people or stealing female underwear for ritual purposes, would no doubt face the consequence.

Some more headlines

‘Yahoo boys’ has made us stop wearing pants – Women

How we sneak into female hostels to steal pants for money ritual

15-Year-Old Boy Caught With Female Pant For Money Ritual

FEAR OF RITUALISTS IN DELTA: We anoint our pants to escape Yahoo Boys

So I asked a group of friends to share thoughts, from the rich quick mentality to the fact that a few just did not believe in the entire nonsense were some of the answers that I got. Infact my friend, Mike Asukwo equally concerned asked, “Please what aspect of ‘African Traditional Technology’ utilizes used-female underwear as component?”

Someone called it a monetization converter apparatus, a DNA sensitive trado device. Does it work, I needed my herbalist friends to answer, as I investigated the subject, I asked why not male pants or boxers. I recall that myth about women sanitary disposable when we were in the University of Jos, so while I pondered on this pants business, it then occurred to me that we could do better.

With 29.7% of Nigerian youths unemployed, 50% without a tangible job. So politicians are being rated by the crowds they pull at campaign rallies; when the teeming youth population that pour out to these rallies for as little as N200 is a signpost warning that all is not well, it is also from this population that the job tag called Yahoo-Yahoo exists; and who knows next which underwear or what they would be stealing.

It was Sani Shehu who said, “It’s unfortunate and ironic that candidates who flaunt crowds of supporters in hundreds of thousands in open stadiums, have fear of a microphone and a few people in a Hall, and I added because their underwear’s or in this case their boxers are juju-proof.

Nigeria is suffering from leadership deficit coupled with incompetence and a highly spirited zeal to loot the nation. And some are stealing pants.

Those who commit savagery whether by stealing pants, underwear, the 10 percenters, and political thieves know there are no consequences and when there are no consequences to criminality, it mushrooms. There’s a huge supply of bad behavior, including the sordid, unthinkable underwear robbery and this will continue because no one has been punished for stealing, and until politicians, Nigerians, citizenry see that they have a voice, the looting will continue, the pant stealing will boom, and while it does, this is my counsel.

Oh, let us steal the pant of the daughter of the politician who used monies meant to upgrade the local government education authority school to send his kids abroad for a better education. Where is the pant of the wife of that governor that refuse to build even one cottage hospital after he had promised to build a world class medical facility in every senatorial district of his state.

There is no need waiting for the law, let’s make our politicians swear to, Sango, Amadioha, Orumila, and other gods that do not take aromatic schnapps that upon failing to deliver on their promises the pants they wear would be too hot for their buttocks to sit on. A nation that it’s young populace no matter the negligible percent see stealing pants as a source of wealth is in trouble, in the words of those fancy suit, Gucci shoes wearing ‘pentrascal’ pastors, the nation needs deliverance, or else the days ahead are bleak, for how long—Only time will tell.

Prince Charles Dickson

Currently Prince Charles, is based out of Jos, Plateau State, and conducts field research and investigations in the Middle Belt Region of Nigeria with an extensive reach out to the entire North and other parts. Prince Charles worked on projects for UN Women, Search for Common Ground, and International Crisis Group, among others. He is an alumnus of the University of Jos and the prestigious Humanitarian Academy at Harvard and Knight Center For Journalism, University of Texas at Austin. A doctoral candidate of Georgetown University

Born in Lagos State (South West Nigeria), Prince Charles is proud of his Nigerian roots. He is a Henry Luce Fellow, Ford Foundation grantee and is proficient in English, French, Yoruba Ibo and Hausa. Married with two boys, and a few dogs and birds.