Poetry

By

Lindri Riveras

INVISIBLE SCARS

Every year it begins

again,

you walked away from my sadness

long, down the beach you went

suitcases you bought

while I sought refuge in the emergency room.

They offered me shelter

but I chose your suitcases.

Once I tried to hang your shirt in the closet,

I thought you would play along.

Run  away,

but let’s go back to get a blanket.

Are you worried? 

You’re acting strange

There is fish on your mouth.

It is butchery, and my knees buckle.

You carved wounds in me so deep

that they open up and seep

and I don’t even know it’s happening.

Every year it begins

again,

The ache

The anxiety

I up my meds, but my tears roll over the raised scars you left on my cell walls

Every year it begins

again,

Like a bad taste in my mouth,

and a veil that awakens my senses.

I don’t recall your name

I don’t give my permission.

I don’t care if you’re sorry,

I don’t care about forgiveness,

I don’t care about you.

I want out .

WOULD YOU NOTICE?

I’m dying inside.

I won’t tell you that I’m dying inside.

I will present my together face,

and my strength of character

and

you won’t notice that…

I’m dying inside.

You’ll hand me platitudes outlining my grief

and I’ll nod and acquiesce to your theories.

But, you won’t notice that even in your presence

I feel alone like…

I’m dying inside.

And I’ll hold myself up until I get home.

I’ll walk through the house searching for some distraction

but the dishes are done,

the clothes are folded

and the bed is made.

So I write,

and light a cigarette

and slide down the wall

until I’m hugging my knees

and the tears start to fall,

and I find myself thinking…

I’m dying inside.

But you won’t notice

and  I can’t tell you.

Lindri Riveras 

Lindri Riveras lives on a beautiful lake in Washington State with her husband and two rescue dogs. Lindri had traveled extensively throughout Latin America and is bi-lingugual in English and Spanish. She has taught ESL to immigrants and refugees from Latin America, Vietnam, Eritrea and Somalia at home and abroad. Lindri is the founder and owner of Gallipot All Natural, Handcrafted Skincare, a small, local company founded on the idea of sustainability and simplicity.