By
Renee Drummond-Brown
‘BLACK’ for No Apparent Reason
Some say
I’m way too loud
Some say
I’m wild
Some say
‘Imma’ beast
Without
A beauty inside
Some say
I’m ‘EVIL’
Some say
I’m too fat
Some say
I’m bald
Nappy, ugly and ‘BLACK’
Some say
I’m too skinny
‘Wit’
Big poppy eyes
Carmel coated
On ‘da’ inside
‘NAW’
I’m
‘Jus’ ‘BLACK’
Some say
I’m too ‘yeller’
And don’t
Quite fit in
Not enough ‘BLACK’
Not enough white
For acceptance
By anyone’s kin
But…
‘I’z’ ‘sayze’
I’m ‘jus’‘BLACK’
For No Apparent Reason
(At all).
The Lil’ Color Girl in me
Rusty around the edge
Even ‘MESSY’ too
Often times
Untidy
Muddled
Chaotic
Cluttered
Disorganized
And at times
Confused
‘BUT’
From my breast
Everyone in ‘DIS’ land’s
Been fed!
All the while
Pained inside
Giving you ‘ALL’ my ‘ALL’
Feelings can’t be hid
To hide my tracks of tears
And those lies
You’ve told over the many years
Knowing both what ‘YOU’ said and did
You know who you are
Therefore, pride is well hid
Before anyone’s fall
I ache for the black man
And his son(s)
Because he holds me accountable
For the injustices done
But somehow
I KNOW
THAT I KNOW
His Son
Will show
Grace and mercy to them
For this I do know
STILL YET,
An artificial smile
Worn on my face
Somehow
I manage to ‘SWAG’ in pure grace
Maya said I was phenomenally made
After all
Turning my tides upside down
For I can no longer hide
When no one else is around
I know that I know
I’m that ‘BLACK’ ocean
She describes
Leaping wide
Cause I’m both an easy target
And an easy find
I try extremely hard
At giving everyone my all
But all in all
Like Eve
I too must take falls
Down
But I dare get back up
To answer
Only
To ‘His’ Call
The lil’ color girl in me
Scrapes the bottom barrel
Never confrontational
Nor wasting time on quarrels
Disputes
‘AINT’ my game
To me
Squabbles and tiffs are just as lame
Children
Can’t understand my worth
More than just birth
Life was sapped out of me
Why don’t they ‘SEE’
“The Lil’ Color Girl in me”
Existing in this life
So that everyone else lives
All the while
Burdened with misery and strife
Syndrome knows me by name
The concurrence
Started ‘wit’ ‘dat’ slave
I hate Jamestown trees
‘Cause’ 1619
Reminds me of me
Lord why can’t you free???
“The Lil’ Color Girl in me”
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