By
Iwu Jeff
All creatures felt the cold of the night – it was chill in its frozen state. I had slept earlier in innocence. I knew the time, it was about 3:00am. I was awoken by the cracking sound I heard from the door handle – I was inside my room, where I lay. The door opened. It was dark, he walked in – the monster walked in and switched on the light. The room brightened with light which flashed into my eyes. He stood staring at me.
Despite the night being cold, he appeared only in red, free and light cotton boxer pants. Not even with a singlet. His mien clearly revealed his mischievous intent. ‘What could bring him here by this time of the night?,’ I questioned myself, looking at him, saying no words in anticipation of his own. My ears were open – wide open to hear.
I lay on the bed with my two pillows hugged firmly beside me. My eyes were also open. I was dilated and my nostrils flared. I looked at him from the crown of his head to the toes of his feet… I could see his chiseled features and odious bright smile. I couldn’t help but notice a huge bulge in his boxer pants. The creature in it was dangling slowly to an unheard rhythm. It later became hard, pointing straight at me like a pen; a very large pen. It made a canopy in his boxers and I became more horrified.
‘What could be the meaning of this?’, I muttered with my heart beat increased by a hundred percent. I was drenched with sweat.
He smiled. ‘Jenny’, he called me with alacrity, ‘Jennifer my baby, you know I’ve always loved you… Just be a big girl and I won’t hurt you. I promise, be a good girl which you’ve always been. It’s just for some minutes – all I need is your cooperation. Calm down okay!’ He rumbled, leaking his lips.
‘No dad!’, I screeched, ‘you can’t do this to me, please!’ I jumped down from the bed, running while he chased me in the room – my room. I had attempted to bolt – to run away from the room but he was bent on having his way. He had the door locked before coming in. He had won.
‘Daddy, please don’t do this to me,’ I pleaded, relenting in my efforts. My pleas were like pleading to an apoplectic deity insistent on unleashing its fury. His face changed; now the monster in him really manifested.
He grabbed me by my throat when closer. He dragged me to the bed – my own bed.
I tried with the highest strength in me to fight back, but to no avail. He pulled my hair and smashed me in the mattress. I was dazzled, I was half conscious.
With my little strength, I tried…even in my stupefaction. Then I remembered I was only a weaker vessel. He reached down and choked me. I was muzzled. He grabbed my legs, flipping me over using his hand as a comfort. He had his way. Who could help me? I screamed with my voice. I lost my voice which sounded like a broken speaker dangling to maintain a bass tune. Didn’t I beg him to stop? What didn’t I do… But why was this monster resolute at defiling me? These questions battled in my heart. Only God knew.
At this time I couldn’t breath properly, he clamped his hand over my mouth to stifle my screams. I groaned deeply. Very deeply. I felt something hot running down my legs. It ran with currents like a runnel. ‘Something is running down from me… what could this be?’ I soliloquized. I later realised it was a red substance – a liquid thicker than water; blood. It was blood.
I had passed out before he was done – the monster. I woke up only to find out he had my clothes thrown at me.
* * *
‘You must be very stupid for saying all these things about about my husband’ my mother, Chinyere said. ‘Now I know you are an ingrate. What hasn’t he done for you? Why would you just suddenly decide to paint him black?’
‘No mum, all I have said is nothing but the truth. Why would I frame tales against him?’
‘I know that Henry loves you, Jenny. If he didn’t he wouldn’t even accept being your step father. He had been taking care of you since your childhood and now you want to pay him back with faeces? You want to break my home. And let me tell you, I will never allow you do to that. I can’t!’
‘Mum you need to believe me. I’m really surprised at you. So you love your husband more than your only child? Just one day, I assure you, he will kick you out of this house then you will understand’, I cried.
‘Listen child, you’re biting more than you can chew. Henry is the only source of happiness I have now and you want to make it sour? Your father left me – he died leaving me in pain and bitterness. Henry came and like a lamp on a sombre night brightened my life. I will not allow you to come between us. You must know that anyone that urinates into a river must know that their clans may drink from it.’ She quarreled. I was mute. I stood watching my mum.
‘You can now go! Let’s end this discussion here and now. I’m a busy lady, I’ve some business to attend to. You must, it ends here. You must never go about telling people that Henry raped you, this must not be heard. You want to announce it to the people of Aba. You want to disgrace me. I know you were hallucinating. I also know you have developed sudden hatred for him. I’m busy as you know…’ she yelled, ‘leave here now!’
No one could decipher the excruciating pains which like murky waters drenched my spirit. I knew my life was in shambles. Yes, it was… Who else could I possibly confide in, but for a wicked and selfish mother who feared a broken home. I knew she would prefer her own happiness to my life – her daughter’s life.
The word ‘busy lady’ kept resounding in me. It throbbed violently like a drum of a thousand players. How could she be busy – so busy to neglect her treasure? I questioned myself. She had like glue stuck to that monster – Henry. Now she had become ‘a busy lady’. Wasn’t she busy but guilty? I thought; she was indeed guilty too.
* * *
My father, Nnanna had died when I was two. I knew it all. My mother, Chinyere was very beautiful – a slim woman whose colour was like the Potter’s clay, with an oval face that harboured a pair of tiny eyeballs. Three years after my father’s funeral and mourning rituals, she clung to that monster who appeared in a human form; ‘Henry’, he was called. He was really good to behold at first sight. With him my mum recuperated from the grief of loss. The joy he brought seemed to last for ages. With him was the sun receded to brighten her life. With him also my life turned into total darkness. His presence bottled a myriad of pain for me. If only we had known…
My ever busy mother often travelled for business trips. Like she said, she was a busy lady. I was often left in the odious hands of my step father – Henry. He started molesting me at the age of seven. This molestation progressed repeatedly into several stages. It grew into a vast empire in his mind. It continued growing upto that night. My cry for aid fell on deaf ears in that precinct I called a home. No one could hear me!
Tears could not stop from my eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror and behold I saw depression engraved all over me. I looked ugly and as tiny as a broomtick. My beauty was gone. People often said I was more beautiful than my mother, I was a brunette with terrifying beauty. Now it was gone, pain had stolen it away from me. My loss of belonging in that house made me see the home as hell.
He continued. He had his way at every attempt. Thus, he had been given a free ticket by my unbelieving busy mother. I had countless nights with the monster who brutalised me. I looked pale. I needed to leave the house to face the world. I left and my mother never cared to search for me. I knew nowhere to go in the city of Aba, I left for good to the streets even though I was in with a child. No one knew I was pregnant; I didn’t know. I just started having the signs and when it was visible I knew the monster had done his worst. He had ruined my life. It was in Uratta junction, Aba, I was brought to the lap of the gods – my place of fortune. He was the angel sent to save my world. With him now was my life given a meaning. He was Doctor Edwin Ofor, he took me and accepted me just the way I was. He saw me through the period of pain. And he moulded my life into what I am now. He was my ‘divine helper’. I became a successful mother courtesy of Dr. Edwin – my husband now.
After two years, the monster and my mum had parted ways. He had accused her of eating her children in the womb and because of this couldn’t have any child for him. He had victimized her before pushing her away into the cold hands of the night. She came throwing herself in the dust, pleading for my forgiveness. She was my mother – my mind strived to have vengeance. For the thickness of blood would my soul ask the world if mercy should prevail over her judgement. Indeed, the fear of what tomorrow would bring makes the tortoise move about with its shell. It was an act of God.
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