Poetry

March 27, 2018 Poetry , POETRY / FICTION

mcdarius photo

 

By

Gary Glauber

 

 

 

On a February 11th flight from Dubai to Amsterdam (on Transavia Airline), complaints from four passengers regarding an overly flatulent man on board forced an emergency landing in Vienna. It did not turn out as expected — and the event inspired a poem recounting the real life occurrence. 

 

 

Contrail

 

 

Vienna waits for no man,

meanwhile one in seat E11

cannot stop his own jet propulsion.

 

In a flurry of ongoing strokes,

he paints an olfactory nightmare,

a Pollack of odors within enclosed space.

 

When some ask him to stop,

he cannot. The gaseous state

is a fugue, a fog, an invitation to action.

 

They complain louder, longer.

The flight crew alerts the pilot

& a warning is issued, only

 

it is to those gasping for clean air,

not the one polluting the cabin.

Everyone has a right to flatulence.

 

An emergency landing occurs.

Four complainants are removed:

a case of “fart for fart’s sake.”

 

The crew assures those remaining

that this was for their own safety,

that altercations are what really stink

as they take off to high heaven.

 

 

 

 

 

Gary Glauber

Gary Glauber is a poet, fiction writer, teacher, and former music journalist. His works have received multiple Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net nominations. He champions the underdog to the melodic rhythms of obscure power pop. His collection, Small Consolations (Aldrich Press) is available through Amazon, as is a chapbook, Memory Marries Desire (Finishing Line Press). His newest collection, Worth the Candle, is now out from Five Oaks Press.

Editor review

3 Comments

  1. Grimmgirl March 30, at 18:52

    Funny, Gary. Did the story really end that way? I had only heard about the...um...problem, not the result! Now I have to Google it!

    Reply
  2. David Allen March 30, at 02:34

    I've sat near that guy on several corr-Pacific trips. Nice poem.

    Reply

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