By
Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois
No Fish
Burger King failed to catch a fish
He’s on the deck of the boat
his fingers slimy with bait squid
He’s had a few beers too many
and has forgotten the technology of fishing
It takes two jerks to catch a fish
says the First Mate
(the jerk of the fish on the line
the jerk of the rod by the fisher)
Burger King knows this is meant as an insult
If it takes two jerks to catch a fish
what does it take
to not catch one?
I should have stayed in the land of cattle,
thinks Burger King
I should have stayed with what I know
Memorial
Obama hits on the Swedish Prime Minister
She’s got that ofay blonde hair
and her legs go on forever
Not really longer than Michelle’s
but Big O’s gotten caught up in the
celebration of Mandela’s death
He’s let his hair down
and slid into his African self
as if he’d taken a few good draughts of nitrous oxide
or absinthe drinks loaded with wormwood
as if he’d torn pieces of Ethiopian spiced goat meat
off a larger hunk
with his sharp teeth
All the goat meat in the world is his, he thinks
He’s the most powerful man in the world
He can eat and drink as much as he likes
He can blow up to be as fat
as a deposed dictator
Big O is looking for a slam dunk
O, this Swede is hot
Michelle is staring daggers
She’d kick the Swede’s ass in a felony fight
She reins in Big O
before he can scandalize himself
He’s already gone too far
He’s been leaning in
taking selfies of himself and the Swede as a couple
cheek to cheek
here at South Africa’s wild party
to send off their Savior
The looks Michele’s giving him can curdle milk
Everyone in the world sees it
and knows she can be a real ball-buster
She’ll show no sweetness tonight
When they get home to the White House
she’s gonna let him have it
She’s no Hilary
sucking up Lewinski poison
Meanwhile the translator for the deaf
is hallucinating
He’s schizo, sees angels in the stadium
sees angels carrying Mandela home
He’s scared
where are his medications?
He’s suffered “anger issues”
He’s next to all these powerful leaders
but are they really leaders, he wonders
or just so-called leaders?
There’s a big difference
He knows no sign language
but he’s depending on God
to carry him through
He’s three feet away from Obama
three feet away from the most powerful man on Earth
He grimaces as Obama brushes by him
The Swedish Prime Minister
knows there’s little chance for a hook-up
but maybe after they’re both out of office…
None of this shit is supposed to be happening
but there’s a warp in the fabric of the Universe
caused by Mandela’s death
He was filled with spiritual power
Now unleashed
that power is having wacky effects on people
even presidents and prime ministers
That warp needs to be closed
muy pronto
before all hell breaks loose
Gun Laws
The sheriff refuses to enforce the new gun laws
He grew up in the west
and his family is a gun family
It was guns that led him to law enforcement
and down the trail
to being sheriff
That trail was good
Politicians sit in the capitol building
under the gold dome
Ideas zing around like
bullets in ricochet
Some of their ideas might be good
but many are crazy or stupid
like the new gun laws
that he won’t enforce
He thinks it might be a little extreme to say
Guns don’t kill people, gun laws kill people
but he knows where the NRA is coming from
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