December 22, 2015 Poetry , POETRY / FICTION


Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois



No Fish



Burger King failed to catch a fish

He’s on the deck of the boat

his fingers slimy with bait squid

He’s had a few beers too many

and has forgotten the technology of fishing


It takes two jerks to catch a fish

says the First Mate

(the jerk of the fish on the line

the jerk of the rod by the fisher)

Burger King knows this is meant as an insult

If it takes two jerks to catch a fish

what does it take

to not catch one?


I should have stayed in the land of cattle,

thinks Burger King

I should have stayed with what I know










Obama hits on the Swedish Prime Minister

She’s got that ofay blonde hair

and her legs go on forever


Not really longer than Michelle’s

but Big O’s gotten caught up in the

celebration of Mandela’s death

He’s let his hair down

and slid into his African self

as if he’d taken a few good draughts of nitrous oxide

or absinthe drinks loaded with wormwood

as if he’d torn pieces of Ethiopian spiced goat meat

off a larger hunk

with his sharp teeth


All the goat meat in the world is his, he thinks

He’s the most powerful man in the world

He can eat and drink as much as he likes

He can blow up to be as fat

as a deposed dictator


Big O is looking for a slam dunk

O, this Swede is hot

Michelle is staring daggers

She’d kick the Swede’s ass in a felony fight

She reins in Big O

before he can scandalize himself

He’s already gone too far

He’s been leaning in

taking selfies of himself and the Swede as a couple

cheek to cheek

here at South Africa’s wild party

to send off their Savior


The looks Michele’s giving him can curdle milk

Everyone in the world sees it

and knows she can be a real ball-buster

She’ll show no sweetness tonight


When they get home to the White House

she’s gonna let him have it

She’s no Hilary

sucking up Lewinski poison


Meanwhile the translator for the deaf

is hallucinating

He’s schizo, sees angels in the stadium

sees angels carrying Mandela home


He’s scared

where are his medications?

He’s suffered “anger issues”

He’s next to all these powerful leaders

but are they really leaders, he wonders

or just so-called leaders?

There’s a big difference


He knows no sign language

but he’s depending on God

to carry him through


He’s three feet away from Obama

three feet away from the most powerful man on Earth

He grimaces as Obama brushes by him


The Swedish Prime Minister

knows there’s little chance for a hook-up

but maybe after they’re both out of office…


None of this shit is supposed to be happening

but there’s a warp in the fabric of the Universe

caused by Mandela’s death

He was filled with spiritual power

Now unleashed

that power is having wacky effects on people

even presidents and prime ministers


That warp needs to be closed

muy pronto

before all hell breaks loose







Gun Laws



The sheriff refuses to enforce the new gun laws

He grew up in the west

and his family is a gun family


It was guns that led him to law enforcement

and down the trail

to being sheriff

That trail was good


Politicians sit in the capitol building

under the gold dome

Ideas zing around like

bullets in ricochet

Some of their ideas might be good

but many are crazy or stupid

like the new gun laws

that he won’t enforce


He thinks it might be a little extreme to say

Guns don’t kill people, gun laws kill people

but he knows where the NRA is coming from








Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois

Mitchell Krockmalnik Grabois has had over a thousand of his poems and fictions appear in literary magazines in the U.S. and abroad, including TUCK MAGAZINE. He has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and The Best of the Net for work published in 2011 through 2014. His novel, Two-Headed Dog, based on his work as a clinical psychologist in a state hospital, is available for Kindle and Nook, or as a print edition.


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