The runners in the UK Political Grand National

April 25, 2017 Opinion , OPINION/NEWS , UK

Reuters photo



Hazel Speed

Only Nicola Sturgeon has the ability (since the days of Mrs Thatcher) to have the effect on people that when she appears on TV, the First Scottish Minister is at risk of having a similar drink named after her. If she hasn’t already.

Nicola Sturgeon is throwing out metaphorical sweets to all potential voters, but I have yet to hear how she plans to pay for the same and if it is contingent within or external to still remaining within the UK.

She has been speaking/preaching, to the Scottish Trade Union. So the Scottish jockey has difficulty controlling their prancing horse for this race due to its over excitement and expectations.

Mr Corbyn also has the backing of a major leftist Union, but so far his Manifesto, as we know, merely confirms that he is a pacifist (despite the update to Trident being approved in Parliament), so he will never press the nuclear button, relying only on the conventional services who would all be obliterated, in such contingency, before he managed to arrange an emergency meeting to discuss plans with them, despite the fact he will not even fire a shot in anger, even against a terrorist. Sir Michael Fallon has called him a security risk.

Mr Corbyn states that he would review defence when in power – so would he accept such a vague remark from Mrs May – of course not.

Mr Corbyn is all for reciprocal UK Patron Saints Bank Holidays, but today, whilst saying he will abolish zero hours contracts (a spurt as this metaphorical red Labour horse tries to gather speed and push through the rest of the group of political runners), may result in a Steward’s Enquiry, as he has announced he would initiate a Scottish Bank.6

One question Mr Corbyn. The Scots have been told they cannot use an English Pound for their National Currency if they leave the UK. That issue (if they were to be given a Scottish Bank), will create the need for a legal challenge/Referendum and would store up problems for the future. If this was a drama, someone would undoubtedly say to his remark “are you mad man?”

Mr Corbyn may like the idea of his colours blending, temporarily with the SNP, as both wish to keep in the Single Market and Customs Union of the EU with love for everyone, well at least from Mr Corbyn.

Mr Corbyn’s horse may be scratched due to his comment that it had Union DNA – as cross-bred horses have to be registered and declared, because their control would be fickle, usurped or misrepresented and be another security risk, i.e. he who pays the piper calls the tune.

Mrs Sturgeon will not like the thought of a blend of jockey colours either, as she would then be seen as red white and blue again. Yuck, says she! Or a variation thereof.

The purple and lemon jockey colours are visible occasionally on their despondent horse, weaving here and there between the other riders, but will they get over Beechers Brook with the UKIP challenge on issues only they are brave enough to talk about, and even then, they are trying to avoid scratching a key itch the horse has under its saddle.

Oh dear, a horse called ‘One Hundred Thousand Members’, so named by the Lib-Dems as if a good luck charm, is right at the back and would only win this race if they turned around and ran the other way. They also have red (and black) in their colours during training at Vauxhall today, yet other times an amber contemporary bird is their key symbol. UKIP may be in training at Vauxhall too (lemon and purple), but perhaps the Lib-Dems could only afford a quick and cheap construction of stamped placards, hence the morbid black and red inky look.

Still, Tim Farron is making up with enthusiasm what he cannot provide in other ways. Despite their jockey trying to get a tow by throwing a rope to a nearby rider, the only response received was to be passed a torch (for when he gets to the finish line, as it will be dark by then).

Security has been summoned to control interference from the stands where a zealous supporter is wearing colours of the Labour jockey, yet is yelling to their fans not to support those who back Brexit – inappropriate language for a family event. Once treasonable – poor thing thinks he knows better than those who voted for Brexit in the Referendum. So many millions to one against him. Wonder if the bookies are giving odds anyone will listen to him?

What is it about retired (or defeated/resigned) Prime Ministers who cannot take up gardening, but who hint like mad that they are available if there is a spare horse so they can join the race whilst everyone looks the other way pretending they have not heard. Besides, he is scaring the other horses.

Let people vote for who they want – it is called democracy!

The Welsh and The Greens – well they are along for the ride enjoying a fun day out. The Northern Irish runner is being given separate riding weight allowances, so as yet there is nothing definitive to report as the hurdles will soon be approached by the horses.

Finally, the horse whose jockey wears the present UK Government’s blue, is way out in front and the bookies’ favourite, literally, which begs the question ‘what is the point of the race?’

Ah well, exhausting the children with a good day out will mean they get to sleep faster at the end of the evening.









Hazel Speed

Photo (c) Hazel Speed – used by kind permision to Tuck Magazine

Hazel Speed is a Philosopher, Writer, and Artist with various creative projects at differing stages of development. Her flaship project is an animation which has produced a film short: She has also written an E-novel, ‘Just Suppose…!‘ which is available via the attached link.

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