July 3, 2018 Poetry , POETRY / FICTION

FAO photo



Kabedoopong Piddo Ddibe’st







In a fruity field,

A viable seed sown

And let alone to yield

Whereof was grown,

Let alone to the foe’s mercy,

Who, while men soundly slept,

Sneaked into the field’s belly,

And therein bountiful tares left;

Tares among the wheats,

Poured like balls of meat.

The gold harvest season

Arrived at the wake of the reapers;

The white eye of the bloody moon

Watched the Grim Reaper

Lurk in the Hollywood Bay

Rekindling the hungry doomsday.









Tides come and go;

My wrinkled face

Of sunflower

Once were smoother

Than oil and sweeter

—Far sweeter than honey;

Blooming with freshness.

They rose to greet the world

With a terrible velocity

And full length velleity,

Full of valor and life;

But time changed,

And so much the life;

The rocks of teeth

Weathered off,

Valors have fled to Time,

Like a little baby,

I crawl back whence I came.

My once sweet lifestyle

Is now so sour

That a lemon tastes sweeter;

And everything you consider

Nice is to me nothing at all;

All is vanity.

A miniature libido for life

Left in sunflower’s left auricle

In her panting eventide

In clouds of dust ruffle

Fluttering away from her

Never to be seen again.

I wonder where time went.









Welcome, my beautiful class;

Today we gonna look at a new topic

Called Cosmetology.

If I may ask:

What is cosmetology?


Me, Sir — Study of Cosmoses.


No, not very correct.

That is cosmology

Sir, it is the study of the white man’s

Coming for colonies in Africa.


No, that’s damn wrong


Hmm. Me, Sir — it’s the study of the squalor

And poverty of the African city’s slums,

Their corrupt and despotic leaders

And soil erosion of African cultures.


No, Suubi. Listen now, class:

This is the study of cosmetic industry

And its effect on your mothers and sisters.

What are some of the cosmetic products your mothers

And beautiful sisters use always?


Sir, me — ashes!


Ashes? Oh, no! Think deeper again, Kaka

Me, Sir — Curry powder!

Oh, that’s wrong, dear Phiphi

Hmm — skin burner, Sir.


Yes, you’re quite right, Nancy.

Class, give Nancy thunderous handslaps



Very good!

As heavy a handclap as an angry thunder.


Now — in Senior One,

We learnt some few examples of cosmetics,

But this time round,

We shall look at them all today.

The first one is — emery boards, nail clippers, ambis


No, you’re wrong, Sir.


Suubi, we have nothing like wrong answers.

All answers are correct,

But some questions are wrong —

For the given correct answers


Then me, Sir — the devil’s fingernails

And dead White man’s hair.

(Class laughs)








Lip gloss,

Lip liner,



Those are makeups my sisters use, Sir.


And lip metal, Sir.


No lip metal,

But mascara


And lips of a lion licking its kill’s blood, master.


Don’t call me `master`, Suubi.

I am not a slave driver.

(Class laughs wholesomely)


What are makeups used for, class?

Me, Sir — To close heaven and open hell.


No, Sir, Toldo is wrong. Me, Sir — To whiten the blackness of an African woman.

A white woman in black skin…


Clap for brilliant Suubi, class!


It’s a pleasure — a short clap (RRRAAAP!) — the best Girl.


Now listen — their hideous effect:

A black woman dies a white death.

That is the effect!


I have a question, Sir.

Ask me, Suubi


What do you mean — a black woman dies a white death?


I mean we have come to the end of the lesson.

Thank you — have a good day.


Thank you, Sir, for your service;

Your service is highly welcomed,

You, teacher, teach so well!


(Class sings)


Thank you, teacher, for teaching us,

Everywhere we go,

People admire us,

We can’t get tired because of you.


(Teacher goes out. Class laughs)


I woke up relieved.

It was just a sweet dream.






Kabedoopong Piddo Ddibe’st

Kabedoopong Piddo Ddibe’st is a Ugandan Poet/English and Literature teacher, born in Kitgum, an Acholi by tribe, aged 26.

He is from the land ruled by Idi Amin Dada (1971-9), then by Museveni (1986-present), invaded by LRA/Lord Resistance Army under Joseph Kony(1986-2006).

Thus, he comes from a dirt poor family background, a nation where life is at stake.

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