Zimbabwe: Can you safely receive Crocodiles and AK47s as your Christmas gift?

December 22, 2017 Africa , Opinion , OPINION/NEWS , POLITICS

Reuters photo



Mbizo Chirasha



The Inside story of the Outside Story 



When bovine and skokian sloshed Mandi Chimene and the village gossip certified political turncoat Sarah Mahoka dressed down their former Vice President, I was not surprised because I knew they thought Grace was all powerful and was the oil that fuelled the power battery in Robert Mugabe and the Zanu-PF party.

Their bootlicking-poisoned saliva became the petrol that doused Mugabe’s legacy to ashes. The mantra then was Mugabe Chete Chete and Vana Vose kuna Amai. Ironically politics is like niceties, they look beautiful before bile digests them, after that it soon all became history. In no time the niceties become shit that we then bury underground or build sewer pipes to drain away from human eyes and nostrils (Kurwadza kwazvo).

Come Mlala, I don’t know what his name meant or means but he got lost in the political jungle when he fell into the bootlicking baptism of fire of hate and denigration against political reptiles. He failed to read that Mugabe’s mojo relied on the same revolutionary denims and Chiwenga’s dark green combats. Grace Marufu went too far away from the reality, she madly walked in utter nudity or power and she viciously bit the hand that buttered her bread.

Zimbabwean politics is deeper than a long night dream, you have to go deeper with your mental eyes, otherwise you will underestimate the silent crocodiles in quiet cold waters, their attack so silent and soft like the sacred November rain, though their canines are sharp and on target. They say you have to be sure which river to cross. Mandi, Mlala and Mahoka lost the whole plot in the Zimbabwean political jungle.


Mugabe is a known political playboy who is and was known for using diverse talents for his benefit. He gaffed by fronting his political tasteless Grace whose tongue torched the Sarajevo of his fall from their Disgrace.

It’s a pity Mugabe is now a grandfather. If he was still that young village herd boy, he would have revised his strategies and know which bull to front for future village battles.

This however is not my real story. I am just exercising our minds with a short relay of recent interesting events of our country. My real story is the inside story of the outside one.


The architects of the real thick skinned Zanu-PF, Mnangagwa included, are students of Mao Zedong and Kim Jong (communistic tactics and guerrilla military strategy).

The November Kamikaze caught some waffling, some alliancing and de-alliancing. Some were caught napping. Some were found pants down bootlicking for positions for their forthcoming Zanu-PF congress. Yes this powerful political heatwave code named Operation Restore Legacy found them dozing.

Our cash guzzling St Ignatius was found warming up the new cabinet chair of the national purse (disgraceful). The aged and political shrewd driver Robert was trapped while snoring in the hot arms of his motor mouth Delilah. The opposition was surprisingly caught alliancing and de-alliancing (I Repeat). Jonathan Moyo and his cabal were found soiling the revolutionary mats with the fresh generation political urine that had choked the war cadres to the marrow.

The Obama mantra boys were burnt by the Operation Restore Legacy acid and immediately stopped peeing and ceased spitting their new slogan syllabus into the revolutionary pot. They realised overnight that the beautiful and ugly pot has owners who are sometimes silent, while fuelling the pot for an awesome meal from behind the trees.

The truth is now out that crocodiles and struggle war cadres are owners of the paradoxical pot, Zanu-PF. Hence the Chinhu Ichi Chinevene muMutare avo mantra. Clueless Mwenewazvo went far too loud. She parroted, she heckled, she assaulted and belittled.

Crocodiles and ex-war guerrillas remained silent and scheming. Here we are today with War Combatants and Crocodiles holding the pot despite how hot the pot is. Hands off our pot – Chinamasa warned.


Zimbabweans have been drowned in economic poverty and political oppression for a long time. They were desperate for freedom, hence the freedom march to State house and the celebratory euphoria on the 21st of November 2017. Our people need to be taught how to sift through the political waves and define Freedom; how to separate a dummy and reality. Yes marching for the Mugabe’s ouster signifies oneness.

Do we really own this revolution or were our souls stolen by a certain cabal or faction to fight for a certain vendetta? Are we going to remain focussed and loyal to the revolution we marched for or did we do it out of the heaviness of the heat wave or of mobo-cratic emotion? Many questions need to be answered here. It’s a matter of soul searching.

It surprises me that some few nights after the long march, some marchers were singing a different tune and I saw it coming, “No this is not our pot we were sold a dummy, we celebrated a medium who will claim that our mother is a village witch,” (Kufarira n’anga neino bata Amai).

Oh remember this one is the real Zanu-PF emerging strong and fit as a fiddle. Beware of the winter elections they might take you by surprise. This is Zanu-PF of the 90s, very strong, tactical and with components of guerrilla communism in it.


Kim Jong, the first Commander in Chief of the first independent DPRK, used his guerrilla intelligence for DPRK for the attainment of freedom for his country from the Manchurian dynasty. He ate and dined with the enemy, caught them napping, dispossessed their ideology, their tactics, their weaponry and foodstuff. Operation Restore Legacy stole the popular opposition campaign jibe, “Mugabe Must Go” and the popular Rebranding Zimbabwe mantra.

The Opposition and its supporters endorsed the November political heatwave. Mutsvangwa, the new Zanu-PF rebranding architect in chief, dragged the MDC Alliance leader Morgan Tsvangirai from the hospital bed to endorse the November revolution. Teurai Ropa Mujuru, Job Sikhala and all others who matter were present. Their presence legitimized the soft coup.

The opposition is left without a campaign message. It has to renew its campaign strategy. Mugabe is left dumfounded, and Grace still in utter shock. The last African Goebbels and his cabal crossed Limpopo but through the other side not infested by sharks and crocodiles.

Students of practical communism seem to have outwitted those political science theories we sip every day at SAPES and other political spaces munching drumsticks and sipping sweet wines on hotel balconies. This soft coup was strategically weaved and its footsteps were difficult to comprehend until the deed was done.

I am surprised by those who overestimate Jonathan Moyo, the so-called Modern African Goebbels in Zanu-PF circles, Yes, Jonathan was good and wise for them but he was not wise for the majority of Zimbabweans. His oppressive and retrogressive media laws POSA and AIPPA took us back to ancient colonial times.

Mugabe never liked this political bed hopper, he was actually using him to fight potential contenders and this time the poster boy Jonathan blundered. He miscalculated the political mojo of the war denims cabal (the Chiwengas, Mustvangwas, Matemadandas and others). Some politicians confused the back of a crocodile with a floating tree bark. Beware you get a bite as your Christmas present.

Parading Grace Mugabe as a presidential gift for Zimbabweans was a faecal blunder, Mr Professor Sir. Supporting Mugabe at his age while people wallow in poverty for many years was another boob. Poking the war hardened nostrils of the Mugabe tired military with your soft tweeting finger was another gaffe.

Fronting clueless youth as sacrifice for your political expedience another big bluff. Supporting a cabal that is known of looting and openly supporting corruption clearly defines who you are, Comrade Professor. Your politics of vendetta destroyed your reputation. Mugabe trusts and trusted Mnangagwa more than you, thus why he endorsed the soft coup by the military that night before his resignation. Remember the Kumagumo Kunenyaya saying (You are learned, you should have repeated to read the bible on this one).


Mugabe is a war veteran to the marrow, he will always stand by those with whom he was in the bush and later reward them for protecting him and his legacy (Remember the Asante Sana night). Mugabe threw you, Grace his wife and Cabal into the crushing jaws of vicious reptiles by endorsing that November soft coup, Operation Restore Legacy.

Before I close this instalment I say thumbs up to you, you are star, you fought up to the end. You have some principles. You stood by your promise, destroying the Zanu-PF titanic from within. Yet, the Crocodiles wouldn’t let you slaughter alone, skin alone, dry alone and feast alone this Zanu-PF carcass.

After all those years of your sweat and tears, you are out there in the cold. The political reptiles are now roasting the niceties of your slaughter while you sniff the stink of your wasted sweat behind the giant and misty hills of Mt Kilimanjaro. The well learned Cde Jojji advised you earlier about the power matrixes in Zanu-PF and you thought he was crushing your dreams.

Otherwise Mugabe was part of the coup architects that removed him. He is a known political chess player. He is fully aware of the revolutionary party bible. He knows the order of succession in his party and might just be shedding crocodile tears for you to believe that he is by your side. Maybe he just pretended to insult his long time sidekick in public.

You and your cabal played to the gallery and that led to your political demise. Mugabe is proud of himself and he would not just cease power so easily like a baby falling from a loose back strap.

A surprise Christmas present from our revolutionary dictator Mr Mugabe…

Zimbabweans, can you safely receive Crocodiles and AK47s as Your Christmas Gift? It’s a game of swaps, the combatants gave you Mr Mugabe as an April gift in 1980. Mr Mugabe brings you crocodiles and AK47s for Christmas.





Mbizo Chirasha

Mbizo Chirasha is an Internationally published poet, writer, blog publisher and Citizen  Justice Activist. Mbizo Chirasha is the Originator/Instigator of the Zimbabwe We Want Poetry Campaign (Brave Voices Poetry Journal-Tuck Magazine, Word Guerrillas Protest Poetry Journal – Zimbabwe Sphere, Poets Free Zimbabwe- MiomboPublishing). Mbizo is also the participant of the International Human Rights Arts Festival, Exiled in Africa Programin New York, United States.

His poetry, writing and blog journals are widely published across the globe. Mbizo Chirasha is also the founder /creative director of GirlchildCreativityProject. He is the Zimbabwe Resident Coordinator of the 100 Thousand Poets for Change – Global and the WomenScream International Poetry Festival. Mbizo has led a number of creative interventions and arts based projects. Mbizo Chirasha can be  found at the following links:




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